Matched with this dude and planned a date, like normal people do. Admittedly I was kinda feeling horrible internally but kinda wanted to go on a date to try to make myself feel better.

I picked him up and we headed towards this food stand he recommended but had never been to. Admittedly I thought I ruined the date because I kinda got lost and we had to park 4-5 blocks away from the location. We were able to get our food and walk back to my car because there was no seating. I thought after we ate he'd wanna end the date, I was prepped for that, but we wound up talking for at least 1 hour before he asked to kiss me.

Off and on we made out and played with each other for 2-2.5 hours in a crowded parking lot. During the make out he muttered "God I love you". I asked him to repeat it because I wasn't sure I heard him right and without hesitation he said it again. Supposedly because I'm very friendly, loving and it feels like we've known each other for a long time. I didn't say anything and we kept going. Personally I don't take statements like that to heart, whether I've known them 1 day or 10 years. I'm cautious and am taking it with a grain of salt. I made him cum once with my mouth and once with my hand. Technically speaking he made me cum twice but I was in such a weird horrible internal state of mind so I came but didn't orgasm if that makes since.

I wound up going to his place. We relaxed on the couch for like 30 minutes but then I started playing with him and turned him on again. He wound up pulling his cock out dry humping into me. Begging to fuck me. Neither of us were prepared for piv sex because we didn't expect it. However, I let him lead me to his bedroom where we made out some more and I got on my knees to suck and jerk him off. He then jerked his cock to cum on my face.

I went home with 4 neck hickies and one big lip hickey.

Next time we plan on being prepared and go all the way. Hopefully I'll be better internally.