I know I need to write in better detail about this but god my head is still swimming from the shoot. When I look back at the footage, especially at the end....all I see is me barely keeping it together. And I see the seam of my tight pants misaligned in certain shots and it makes me re-feel the crew grabbing the back of my pants and pulling them up and twisting them, saying they were readjusting them but really just yanking them up my ass after seeing me do exercises in the private gym. I could feel them getting riled up. It had been so long since we'd done a shoot. I think maybe we were all on edge. Dear god I know I was.

Sorry, none of this probably makes any sense. I just needed to write this and vent for a sec. I posted the spot on my page if u wanted to see. My heads all over the place still, sorry.