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I (F 29) am in a poly relationship with my husband and his friend. Here is a detailed post about our relationship.
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- I thought I'd give more details about my poly relationship with my husband and his friend, whom I'll call Lovr from here on. I am assuming that everyone has read the background story that I posted before this.
- It's been 8 years since all three of us have been together. My husband and Lovr have been friends since kindergarten. We got two kids, the first one from my Lovr and the second one from my husband.
- None of our families supported this in the beginning, considering that we hail from a fairly conservative part of the world and they wanted us to revert back to monogamy. My husband's parents stopped talking to me when I got pregnant with our first child. My parents, too, cut contact with me during this period but then reconciled after I gave birth. And after seeing how involved my husband is with the newborn and understanding our relationship, his parents too started being okay with this.
- All five of us live together. Men live in separate rooms, and I alternate between them each night to sleep with. Our elder kid is old enough to understand that things are different in here as compared to other houses and that mom has two men in her life, and he has two dads. And as he grows up and becomes more curious about this, we'll let him know as much as he wants to.
- Sex happens in the bedroom mostly, or on a first come, first serve basis, when we have privacy, and when we can, we go for threesomes. I personally feel the most comfort in threesomes, having both my men with me and in me, something that we used to have a lot before having kids.
- My husband and I had an arranged marriage. We met each other through our parents, liked each other, and our parents went ahead with the marriage with our consent. Right after marriage, we moved in with Lovr as my husband was living with him back then. So in essence, while I was still bonding and falling in love with my husband, I got close to Lovr as well, thus falling in love with both men.
- All the decisions are taken mutually, regarding us and the kids. Even when it is an individual decision, we let the other two know about it, seek their opinions, and keep each other updated, so there are no secrets between us.
- I spend time with both my men, both alone and together, and I assure and affirm them of how much they both value me. I do my best to bond with them emotionally and physically as much as I can.
- I am legally married to my husband. And I had a private marriage (religious, not legal) with Lovr.
- Another question that I got asked the most was, "Who is better in bed?" and the answer is both of them. For me, as much as I love the physical aspect of sex, I also enjoy the emotional aspect of sex. Perhaps more than the physical one. Apart from their individual differences, they are both sexually on par because their sexual acts and desires are formed around the needs of one person, me. For example, one would have an amazing session with me tonight but then have a quickie with me tomorrow without making me orgasms... Can't say he is the best, nor can I say he is not, because it varies.
- Expenses are borne by both men equally. Responsibilities like taking kids out, buying groceries, doing dishes, etc. are assigned to each one of us on a particular day/week and we keep rotating them after every interval.
- I hope I have cleared a lot of questions with this post. But feel free to ask me anything that I missed out on or any point that you'd like me to elaborate on, as I've tried to keep this as precise as possible.
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