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My ex was horribly abusive. Not physically but emotionally. Looking back she was clearly a narcissist. Lived in her own world and she made the rules and those rules changed daily. She constantly insulted my intelligence. Acted like I didn't care about her and how manipulative I was to be able to keep her around. Would never fully commit to a relationship because she didn't know if she wanted to be monogamous with me despite the fact that I said I was more than happy to be non-monogamous.
Obvious response to all of this is to ask why I didn't just leave. Simple answer is depression. Hated myself more than she apparently hated me. Even though she was an awful person, she still chose to be with me. And you know, depression is a hell of a drug.
Fast forward to now. Have an amazing partner that has never made me feel less than. I feel confident and secure. I am happy for the first time in a very long time. And yet now I just want her to be mean to me in bed. Not in just normal life but when we're doing our "business" I just want her to criticize me, call me names, tell me how small I am.
What is life and why is it so weird
Not so much a dirty chat kind of thing but I'm horny and just got me thinking about it
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- 2 years ago
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