38 I joined tinder, bumble, and all the others a few weeks back. I just need something....new. I love my wife but I don't know. Maybe it's an early midlife crisis. Maybe I'm just bored. I just want someone younger.

You and I match. One of the few matches I get because I don't have a face pic so I can stay discreet. You don't have a face pic either so it's perfect for me.

Things heat up pretty quickly. Body pics are exchanged. Plenty of them. You are young and have a tight little body. You don't seem to mind the age difference which is a huge plus for me. Probably just looking for money but I don't care. I just want to fuck someone younger. If it costs me money then I can accept that.

As the days go by I find myself masturbating to your pics on a regular basis. I enjoy jerking off to your pics more than I enjoy actually having sex with my wife.

The day comes that you finally send a face pic. Oh god! I knew you were the same age as my daughter/son but to actually be looking at a fully nude photo of them on my phone is not what I was expecting. I'm sick. I'm disgusted. I hate myself for this. The realization that I've been jerking off to pics my own child's asshole. Oh god.

I don't respond. In fact I just ghost you. Zero contact. I avoid you in person as much as possible. I can't look you in the eye when we all sit down together for dinner. I just keep thinking of the awful things you said you wanted to do to me. I hate myself even more and I act distant and even hateful to you in person. It just be confusing to you. To have your own father seem to suddenly dislike you for seemingly no reason.

Despite my disgust, the images are locked in my brain. The thought of your body. Your naked body. Your sexy, young, naked body. I don't want to think about it but I can't stop. I can't help that I want to fuck you.

I get back on the app. It's been several weeks now. I send you a message. Just a simple "hey". It's not much and I know it's probably just going to be ignored but you respond quickly. I sit there and try to think about what to say. What not to say. I think about how wrong it is to do this but then I scroll up and see your face and body. I guess this is who I am now.

I say "I can't quit thinking about you."

***Son or daughter. Legal age but still in high school. We've always been a very loving family but just standard typical loving family. You have an older brother or sister in college. Has already moved out. We all still talk to them on a regular basis over the phone and through texts.

I'm 38 and been married since I was 20.