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Being asexual, I experience little to no sexual attraction. I do find women visually appealing and have a fairly normal (perhaps even high) need for sexual release, but it doesn’t translate to me wanting to kiss, grope and make love to a partner. It’s not that I’m trying to be uncaring. The instinct simply isn’t there. Words like lust and passion don’t really exist for me. Instead, I express my love through shared experiences and acts of kindness: Traveling to beautiful and interesting places together, going to events that are important to one or both of us, sharing meals that we cooked for each other, etc. It isn’t something I measure through sex.
As far as sexual needs go, we would mainly take care of our own needs on our own time. We would learn the signals and know when to give each other privacy to masturbate.
Every once in a while when we’re lying in bed together, you might reach your hand down my boxer shorts and, if I react, stroke me. If you notice me looking at your chest, you might lift your shirt so I have something to look at while you bring me to orgasm. I could return the favor, of course.
Once in a very great while, maybe once or twice per year if the mood struck right, we would have sex purely for physical release. There would be little if any kissing or other play involved.
If this scenario appeals to you, let’s talk it through.
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