After washing down 1600 mg of Diphenhydramine with 900 mg. For reference im 5"6 and at the time I was around 270lbs. I took it on an empty stomach and rinsed it all down with a glass of grapefruit juice. I'm not encouraging anyone to take this amount. I was in a really dark place in my life when I did this. Please be safe out there and remember people love you and would miss you if anything accidentally happened.

Some will argue that what I saw was merely a side effect from the chemicals I ingested (maybe it was maybe it wasnt) but what I experienced was far beyond anything I had ever experienced and still to this day difficult to describe because our words can't even come close to describing exactly what I saw and more so what I felt, but I will do my best. I often wonder if what I experienced was a possible NDE?

After I had ingested the absurd amount of both substances I laid back in bed and waited for the effects to kick in. It was the most I had ever taken together at the same time and my last. It happened so quickly.

There was no panicking, no gradual come up. It hit me like an atomic b*mb.

I sat up in bed because I felt an overwhelming yet comforting presence in the room with me. I never looked directly at Him (I didn't need to) but I knew He was God. He wasn't a physical form with a body, but at the same time he stuck his hand out for me to grab because we were leaving. I reached out and took his hand but I had no physical body either. We were invisible but at the same time could see eachother. (Idk how else to describe that)

(Any communication throughout my experience was never expressed vocally. Everything I heard was in my head and when i heard what was being said it was as if I had already known what was being said already. Knowledge of everything in the universe was in my mind. There was no beginning and no end to us or anything else. At the same time there was no us, we , you, me just am.)

Back to what I was saying...

We left my bedroom and I remember we were going up towards the sky. None of this happening was odd to me then, it all made perfect sense but thinking back on it now it's all extremely confusing and goes against any laws of physics we know here.

I don't think my feet ever actually left the ground. It was more like outer space was rushing down to Him and I. In my mind I knew it was that way because even time and space obeys Him and comes when he calls.

I remember seeing Jupiter and Saturn upclose. I could even see the particles both large and small that made up Saturn's rings and watching them collide with eachother smashing to bits. Not really any sound when they smashed but I could feel the vibrations of it in my ears. I looked up and down taking in everything I could. We were standing, but not on any surface. There was nothing but space around us, I didnt have legs or feet.

All of a sudden I was surrounded by an intense, bright light. I don't have a word to describe the color of the light but it was (whiter than white) It was the brightest thing I've ever seen in my life but it wasn't blinding. I could look directly into it. The overwhelming sense of calmness, love, peace, comfort that came over me in this light cannot be measured by our standards.

It was otherworldly for lack of a better word. As I stood there with God I looked to my left and I was next to a enormous pearl gate. Solid pearl but the walls were flexible at the same time. Massive. I remember looking up and the gates were so high I could barely see the tops.

What intrigued me the most was the light cascading over the edge of the gate like a waterfall. The light was love, music, peace, warmth, comfort and so much more. There was SO much pure, unconditional, magnificent love on the other side of that gate that it literally took the physical form of this astoundingly bright yet non blinding light.

The music I heard was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. There wasn't any specific language the music was being sang in but I knew what they were saying and it was praises to God. I heard notes and harmony I cant even recall now because my brain isn't able to comprehend exactly what it was I experienced.

I remember thinking I have never wanted anything more in my entire existence than to be on the other side of that gate. On the other side of that gate was life. Not like the life we have here. It was as if I had been asleep this whole time and on the other side was where I could finally wake up.

I turned my head back to face forward and I saw my dad standing there. He had passed away back in 2010 and I never got to say goodbye to him. He had died alone and I carried an immemse amount of guilt because of it. But here he was standing right in front of me.

My dad looked exactly as I remembered him only time, pain, worries, shame, grief, anger and every other negative feeling hadn't touched him. It was the perfect version of him. He no longer had a cane and he was no longer in pain. He suffered from chronic debilitating pain and addiction before he passed. But there he was perfect. The way God had intended him to be.

I was filled with such an overwhelming joy and I told him how happy I was to see him. I didn't cry, I didn't tell him I missed him because where we were those such feelings didn't exist. There was no saddness, no tears, only happiness, love and life.

How could you mourn the loss of someone when they were very much full of life. More so than when they were on earth. My dad didn't die he woke up and he was home.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug and he held me for a few minutes. We spoke to eachother but not with our mouths because again we didn't have earthly bodies even though I could see him in front of me. This is still one of the hardest things to explain to people.

He pulled away and put his hands on my shoulders as we looked into eachothers eyes. I still remember his eyes looking so excited. Like a little kid coming downstairs on Christmas day and seeing all the gifts under the tree. He had that child-like enthusiasm in his face where crows feet, sadness and pain used to be.

He told me he was so happy to see me but it wasn't my time yet. I understood.

I don't know how I know this but while I was up there I knew that the reason we were put here. The reason that we were made. Was to love unconditionally. Love without expectations, love without jealousy, love purely, love the way you would want to be loved. Love in such a manner that only joy could come from it. I wish I had a stronger word than love because that's what I felt when I was there. There is nothing on Earth that could come close to describing just how much God wants us to love one another.

I remember feeling like I was falling backwards. It was so fast that it looked like space had stretched itself down to a tube. On one end was that magnificent light that was now only a pin sized sparkle and I on the other end already back in my bed. Like looking through a really long wrapping paper tube.

It took me 3 days to get out of bed after that. I was trying to process everything I had experienced questioning whether it had really happened or if it was merely a side effect of the substances I ingested.

In those 3 days if I wasn't sleeping, I was crying. I wanted so badly to go back. After what i saw everything here felt so dull and lifeless. How was I expected to spread love in such a sad world full of sad people?

As time goes on I've realized he doesn't expect me to stand on top of a mountain with a megaphone and scream EVERYONE GETS LOVE!!!! Like that episode on Oprah where everyone got a new car lol! No, love doesn't need to be loud to be heard.

I give love freely and without question in my everyday life when and where I can. I pass along a whisper and over time people will pass that on until my whisper is a loud echo coming from every direction. Noone knowing where it originally came from but that doesn't even matter.

Give love. And when you receive love, pass it onto the next. Keep passing it on until everyone's hands and hearts are full and even then give it away because now there is more than enough to share.

Growing up my family and I went to church regularly. I am a Christian but I wouldn't say I was practicing my religion. I mention this because I know that experiences like this can be heavily influenced by our background and what we were raised up to believe. This wasn't a religious experience, rather a highly spiritual one.

I met my higher power as I know Him and He took me to the place I believe we end up after this life. I dont think any of us would have the exact same experience, but I do believe the theme would be the same.

I hope you enjoyed reading my report! I have, since then, set down all the substances I used to abuse. I'm a poly addict in recovery.

Whether my experience was merely a drug induced hallucination or an NDE I still carry it with me close to my heart. I use this experience as my motivation to love and try my best to be a good person no matter what comes after. Be good and do good without expectations.