Everything is so mundane. I have no interest in anything anymore. I can't even see the point of leaving my own bed. Life is boring. Existing is boring. Being conscious is boring. Thinking is boring. I don't feel sad or angry, happy or excited, I feel empty. Hallow. Numb. I barely even feel the need to eat. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I lack the energy for anything. I want to get outside and go for a run to clear my head, improve my body, but at the same time I don't have the energy for it, the motivation. I don't feel a push telling me to do anything anymore.
Zoning out more frequently. Will be doing something and then have a thought. Then I will just start thinking about more things. All while this happens my body continues to do whatever it was doing. Autopilot on steroids. I'll be using the bathroom and then find myself back in my room without any thought to my actions. I'll still remember everything, but it's often very foggy.
It almost feels like all my senses are coming to me separately. Normally all senses come together to form one picture of reality but it's like each of my senses is another state of consciousness. Hearing and seeing usually go together perfectly, but for me they are completely separate as of late. Completely different plains of existence. I'll be listening to music and it's a much different experience. I'll be looking at someone and they talk, but it almost doesn't register that the noises are coming from them. Tasting food and touching things, smelling things, they are all seperate.
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