I can’t feel emotion. My memory is fucked. I cant feel my body. I feel as if I’m in third person. I’m trapped in my thoughts. You guys all tell me it’s going to get better but I find that very hard to believe. My perception of time is absolutely fucked. And entire day will go by and feel like 5 minutes. The mirror terrifies me as of late. I can’t look at one without having an episode. It feels like I’m looking at a stranger pretending to be me. I lack the ability to feel happy, or sad. Love or hate. I honestly don’t know if I’m dreaming right now or not. My dreams are so real I can’t tell the difference between them and reality. Often even when it is reality it feels like I’m dreaming. Like a nightmare. My perception of movement is also fucked. When I move it’s like it’s not me moving. Its like you’re sitting in a robot suit and it’s moving for you but you’re just limp inside. I’ll tell my body what to do and it will do it, but it’s not me doing it. My own voice feels alien. When I talk it feels like I’m not talking. When I hear other people’s voices it sounds so distant, yet close. They circle around me and and the same time feel like it’s just inside my head. Other people don’t feel real. This depersonalization has also triggered solipsism syndrome in me. I feel nothing is real and some times I feel that I’m not even real. I don’t even know if I’m actually typing right now or just thinking about it, that’s how clouded my brain is. I give up. I have nothing left in me. I feel like a husk. Like my soul left my body and I’m what’s left. I lately even question how I exist or if I’m actually conscious right now, or what’s the difference between this and being dead. I feel trapped inside my head, like all I am is my brain, and my body is built around me, but it’s not me. I know this post is everywhere and probably makes no sense but typing out my problem often seem to help me. I’m going insane and nobody can help me. The doctor put me on a new medicine two weeks ago called quetiapine fumarate. It helped a little at the begging but then it stopped. I’m pretty sure the only reason it started to work a little was because of placebo. I’ve posted here before and y’all helped a lot, telling me it will get better. It doesn’t get better though, it’s getting worse.