I always struggle w believing my meditations, but I am really struggling w this one😭. Praying someone sees this and can offer some advice, this is very long winded so I’m going to put TLDR to be safe.

TLDR - i believe I encountered Bune who’s taken on a female form to me but she looks like Daenerys stormborn, not an Egyptian woman and i started crying with her and im questioning everything. I’ve confirmed the experience w/ my bones and tarot but im so insecure over this experience and just feel silly and delusional

so I meditated for an hour on my own w/ no success outside of just seeing a sun dial w/ no additional context. Came out of it and put on a guided meditation that’s worked for me before and followed it up to the point where I was left to do it on my own. I eventually find my way to king balam and he guides me through this demon bazaar market and I realize it’s like the same one I walked through to meet Queen Namaah, so we walk and we end up at her brothel. She greets me like the madame of it, like last time but is a bit more warm, happy to see me return to her. Anyway, both her and balam lead me through the smoke to this table where a woman is dealing cards for poker. No one was at the table and we sit, one of them on either side of me, the dealer looks up at me and gives a smile or smirk, I couldn’t really tell.

The first I see are her striking eyes, to me they were blue, but then i started panicking because I was like everyone sees her an middle eastern woman like Namaah is to me because she’s apparently Wadjet. And then I started thinking about the in depth conversation I had w/ my kemetic best friend about it and how we both somewhat found that odd/the syncretism just didn’t make sense and found us both uncomfortable in the terms of the concept/belief that a goddess who comes from POC has become synchronized with a demon as we’re both POC. So I turned that off from my mind because I just found it weird, anyway so I look at her again and this time she looks like Daenerys Stormborn but not(think to represent how she is said to have a dragon head).

Anyway she tells me to stop overthinking and is like “what you see is what you see, stop doubting/tearing yourself down”. She deals me cards but instead of the playing cards from before, they’re now tarot cards. She deals me the 10 of swords, the hanged man and 3 of cups. She was like the 10 of swords is you, hanged man is what you need to do (referenced black swan about sometimes you need to let go to get what you covet) and that the 3 of cups will be them(her, Queen Namaah and king balam) in the meantime until I can find my way back to my other patrons who also are represented by the 3 of cups. The final cards she gives me is this picture attached which I was giving intuitively while scrolling Pinterest(I use Pinterest as a divination method on occasion) to fit this quote i have and i instantly knew it was for me and it’s what I should get tattooed(i believe and according to my cards and bones she’s saying sent it to me) Finally Namaah and Balam all give me things to work on - a card a day, connecting with my shadow, but Bune I’m still struggling with and as I’m staring at her to try to figure out how she is to me, I’m just overcome with grief and I start tearing up both in the meditation and physically, she then hugged me and together we’re both like am I crying over my inner child who’s always hurt, am I crying over who I have become lately or am I crying over my grandfather who was lowkey my father and who I just loss. And then I woke up…so yeah. Idk