I've contemplated writing this story for a while now. But since I've lost my virginity at age 22 I feel less ashamed about the size that I carry. If my life had a title, it would be "sexual frustration"😆. We live in such a sexually charged world and I, could only stand from the side and watch. My boy cousins I grew up would tease me at times, but they stopped eventually because I learned to fuck people up because of the bullying. At the time, I would try masturbating, but....nothing lol. At one point I literally started praying to God to at least let me be big enough to be able to masturbate. Although I was young, I understood how sacrilegious my request was. The frustration of a young teenage boy yearning to feel the sensations that the boys I grew up with felt was too much to bear. Sometime passes and I'm in middle school. To make matters worse, I was always the boy with the most girls as friends. Girls were just naturally attracted to my demeanor and at one point I let it get to my head, because at this point I was jacking off left and right with the 3 inches I was given, you know i was feeling myself a lil😆. Till niggas balls started dropping and lil bitches wanting more than a fucking kiss. First official girlfriend in 7th grade, She leaves me in 5 days for a high school delinquent😆. I started to fall back from there. Fast forward now I'm in high school....a public high school.....FUCK. (you could kinda get the idea of what that was like😂) second girlfriend, feeling brave, cheats on me too💀. Am I taking too long to move in? Am I too chivalrous? Have I taken my mother's word too much to the heart that I have to respect women? Or is that an excuse? All I know is that everything was tied to my small yet ironically, very big problem😆. 10th grade, felt what pussy feels like for the very first time🥵. I had a big porn problem in high school, and there was this girl name Arlene in my history class. The teacher had a movie going on on the smart board so the lights were turned off. We never do shit in this niggas class lol. He was cool. So I go to the back of the room. Where I put on my headphones and dim my phone screen.(yup) before I could get it on, Arlene walk over and sits on the floor right beside me.( So Arlene has had a crush on me since 9th grade, I kinda knew, but as usual, fumbled that shit.) She asks me what I was doing and like a pro, already got anime on the phone😆. Naruto be a conversation starter with girls sometimes, especially where I'm from. I looked at her and she was already looking like she wanna fuck. So I ask her if she ever watches porn she says yeah. I ask if she wanna watch with me.....she say yuh. Holy shit, porn pick up works better than naruto pick up lol. Boner...immediately....well hardly a boner lmfao. Maybe just a bon😆. She watches the phone as I watch her. I can't help but stop myself from asking. What does watching that do to you? She says "wet". I'm like huh? She look at me and say "wet", with a sense of desire in her voice and eyes. Can I feel? Now I was really feeling brave. Horny 100% senses 0%😆. But she like....yuh. my heart instantly fell out of my ass lmfao. I put my hand under her skirt and felt her panties. Her heat radiating against my hand as she let out a small whimper and I think I came in my shorts😂.I continue to rub her, feeling her panties getting more and more soaked. I didn't wanna push my luck and slide my finger under her panties but she moved them aside🥹 how thoughtful😆. Now I'm really doing it. Watching her as I pay attention to every little detail that made her flinch and gasp. I got so lost in my full attempt to fully pleasure this girl I forget where we are. So does she, as she let's out a moan that a nearby friend of mine heard, tilting his head to the back corner of the classroom where Arlene is just trying to contain her shaking under her skirt. She pulls my hand out as she covers her face and slides down from my shoulder, down to my lap. I put my hand on her chest as I cannot get enough of touching this girl. I felt her chest rise up and down as she slowly calmed down. I smell my fingers and even taste them. Kinda tasted like iron a little bit. (Fun fact: i later learned that when your girl taste like Iron little bit, it's cuz she's around her menstrual cycle). Her face was in my lap now as the bitch gonn try fall the fuck asleep while I'm over here with a bricked skipping stone😆. All I thought was, If my cock was just normal sized, I could've definitely reach her mouth from here. I frustratingly try to shift my body so her face gets just a little closer, and she let me too. Giving me a sign that she wanted to feel it. But I couldn't.... our teacher gets up and tells us we have 5 minutes before the bell rings, and turns on the light again. I look at her face and it is flushed. The homeboy could see it too, and I felt really good about myself as he was all hype and shit trying to be subtle with it too. I look back at her and her cheeks are just pink. She then asks me if I'm staying for tutor.( I'm a 4.0 student. Well was...till puberty) (and she was a bit on the slow side lol) I knew she was basically asking me to stay and wait for her. She whispered in my ear. "We can go that bathroom at the park". I looked at her, my eyes wide, I knew exactly what she wanted. She goes to tutor and I have 30 minutes to contemplate my decision. Risk it and get some? Or she laugh at you and tell everybody. I decided that the reward isn't worth the risk. So I left... I went home. I beat myself up.(literally) I punched myself I'm the nose repeatedly until I saw that there was blood on my shirt. I was too angry and frustrated with myself to feel anything. I was hoping she'd forgive me, but things got pretty distant with us. Especially after I found out that the same homeboy that was hyping me up, was the same nigga that rocked her shit the same day cuz his dumbass needed tutoring too...(niggas😂) I wasn't really mad tho cuz, what can I really do right? I'm happy for yall🫶🏾🫠dies inside. I completely stopped my pursuit of anyone else and decided to take up Crack methamphetamine 😂💀 but that's a story....for part 2 (Up vote and comment for part 2)