I need someone to sneak their way into my head and dig their claws into my brain. Someone who will take the time to lure me in, building a trusting, beautiful and intoxicating bond only to manipulate me and mess with my mental health I know that sounds crazy..

I want to talk to someone who has always wondered what it would feel like to drag a person down to the depths of despair and back up again...over and over and over, sinking deeper each time. Feeling worse and worse lower and lower..

I get anxious, I have low self esteem, and other things, but I want to meet someone where I feel vulnerable enough around to let them in, and tell them allll of my weaknesses.. I need someone who would like to take advantage of them and tear away at my self esteem till there’s nothing left, make me doubt myself, hate myself, and break my mind. Manipulate my mental and emotional state, make me a depressed crying mess, make my heart race with overwhelming fear and emotion every time you message. At the same time make me care for you, need you, and feel safe with you. I wanna be happy and secure in your arms. Brainwash me, make me fall in love with you, so in time I gladly accept all the gross vile things you do to me. I want to give you the keys to my mind for you to degrade till there’s nothing left

I posted this expressing my thoughts and feelings but I got scared and deleted it.. obviously i know it’s not possible for this to happen for real But I wanted to know, has anyone ever wanted to take things this far..? If u think like this do u ever feel guilty or scared?