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For thousands of epochs, the lands of the DefiKingdom have teemed with heroes - warriors and priests, wizards and sages, ninjas and monks. But among these endless generations of heroes throughout time, one hero emerged that was different; a Ninja with sallow skin, regal tresses of lavender hair, atop which sit two perfectly curved gray horns. A lesser hero may have balked at having such poor color contrast between her horns and hair, but this hero was so special, so unique to the story of the Kingdom, that such aesthetic considerations were beneath her.

Besides, when any of the Kingdom folk saw her, all of her other features faded to the background. The people were united in describing her with one word: thicc. Her name was Carden Punmchi, AKA Carden P, the Wondrous Ass Punmchi hero of the DefiKingdom.

From the time she was summoned into the DefiKingdom, Carden P always knew she was different. While the other Ninjas-in-training honed their agility and dexterity through great tests of physical prowess, Carden P developed her own agility and dexterity: lyrical agility and dexterity. While the other Ninjas gained eXPerience moving in the shadows of the Kingdom, Carden P liked to be seen. It was no secret in the Kingdom that for years, peasants throughout the Kingdom would make it rain Jewels simply to catch a glimpse of her.

But the other heroes of the land didn't take kindly to Carden P following a different path. All her life, they ostracized her, obstinate in their view that a Rap Ninja was no Ninja at all. She was humiliated each time she went to the Wishing Well - while the other heroes performed acts of strength, magic, or wizardry at the well in the hopes of impressing Gaia, Carden P spit fire verses at the well hoping to make Gaia shed tears at the sheer beauty of rhyming 'thottery' with 'lottery'. For years, Gaia turned a deaf ear to Carden P's efforts.

Shamed by the other heroes, and rebuffed by Gaia, Carden P retreated further and further into the depths of the Kingdom. Eventually she lived alone on a small plot of land that had dropped from the air unexpectedly many years ago - something that, to this point, she had taken as a sign that her pursuit of Rap Ninja heroism was sanctioned by the Gods. But Carden P was losing faith.

What Carden P didn't know is that there was a great adversary on the horizon for the whole of DefiKingdom. A force unlike anything the Kingdom had faced before. Something that could crumble the Kingdom into dust, turning thousands of epochs of Kingdom history into ash. She, and the rest of the Kingdom would soon come to call this adversary The Great Bear Market. What she didn't know is that she would be the one, the only one, who could save the Kingdom.

The dark cloud of The Great Bear Market came without fanfare, without warning; one day the whole Kingdom was flourishing - mining, fishing, gardening, foraging were at all time highs, and prosperity was so abundant the people of the Kingdom had even taking to indulging in hopium. But The Great Bear Market moved as swiftly as it did mercilessly. Within days, the forests were barren, the mines were closed, the gardens had rotted, and the fish migrated to warmer waters.

The Kingdom broke into hysteria trying to fight off The Great Bear Market; the most courageous warriors attacked, and were vanquished. The wisest sages went to reason with The Great Bear Market, and were turned mad by the inexplicable movements of The Bear. Wizards tried casting spells, Priests chanted holy summons, Thieves tried to deplete The Bear's vast resources. Nothing worked.

In between penning her latest lyrical masterpieces, Carden P got wind of the chaos and commotion in the Kingdom from her tiny plot of land. She put down her Rap Ninja pen and wandered back to the center of the Kingdom. It was a path of total destruction; her path was strewn with fallen heroes, her feet carefully sidestepping them as she walked on barren Kingdom lands that were once lush. As she approached the center of the carnage she caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure larger than any hero in the Kingdom she'd ever seen - larger than any living creature known. As she approached, it roared - a roar that made the Kingdom tremble from the Gardens to the Portal. Carden P was scared to her core.

As she trembled in place, she thought back to the day she was summoned. She thought of the years, the decades, that she had honed her Rap Ninja skills while the rest of the heroes of the Kingdom laughed at her. She thought of the countless times she visited the Wishing Well, and she was invisible to Gaia. She thought of what she was born to do, and with one deep breath, turned to The Great Bear Market and bellowed.

"Little Bear, I don't [mess] with you! I make bloody moves!"

For a moment, The Great Bear Market paused its path of destruction and turned to Carden P. Its cold, dead eyes stared directly at Carden P, with the weight of a million investors' souls it had crushed before beaming directly at her now. Carden P knew this singular moment required more from her. She took another deep breath, and bellowed.

"Little Bear, I don't [mess] with you! I make money moves!"

As she spoke those words, she turned her back to The Great Bear Market, gathered all her might as a Rap Ninja, and began twerking. She twerked with the force of thousands of Ninjas before her, even summoning the power of the Knights in her lineage. She twerked with a force forged from decades of being ostracized for her lyrical prowess instead of physical. She twerked with a force of desperation to save the Kingdom, the only Kingdom she had known.

Slowly, the very air around her began to move. With every clap in her twerk, the swirl of air around her grew, its turning force strengthening. It took every ounce of her Stamina, but Carden P persisted, and the tornado generating around her gathered speed, and grew to towering heights. With her last gasp of twerking Stamina, Carden P pushed the tornado of force, summoned from her unique and arduous plight in the Kingdom, directly in the path of The Great Bear Market.

The twerk tornado enveloped The Great Bear Market, sending it into a roaring rage. But there was nothing The Great Bear Market could do - once caught in a twerk tornado, there is no going back. As the air swirled around him, The Great Bear Market was torn to shreds until there was nothing but wisps of its presence left floating through the Kingdom.

Carden P gasped, catching her breath, as she stood up to take in what was around her. Amongst all the ruin, the Kingdom still stood. The Bank's walls had started to crumble, but it still stood. The Tavern's roof had been decimated, but it still stood. The foliage in the gardens had wilted, but the roots were alive, ready to bear fruit again soon. And off in the distance, by the sea where massive ships had once floated, Carden P caught a glimpse of a beautiful new creature, ensconced in the light reflecting of the water. It was a Golden Bull.

Carden P chuckled to herself and said, 'Okurr.'