I often find myself stuck within my thoughts. I feel like im being pulled toward two different things. However I think I have figured out what the directions are at this point. One is the reality of the responsibility I have and the delay of gratification and what the profit is. But the other I think may be unbridled hedonism and wanting to live purely in the moment like bohemian culture of the 1900’s. The trouble is that I am unsure if it can clearly be defined this way due to it feeling uncertain of the choices I am headed toward and the things I want out of life and the kind of life I wish I lived or what life it is I feel that I am stuck in. I don’t really know even why I am choosing to write this down. But I constantly feel pinned down by responsibility and having to do what is “right” versus the things that would make me happy. And is it that it would make me happy? Or is it just what feels good right now.