7 years ago (4/10/14) I attempted to take my life for the first time. The result was 3 months in treatment which turned into years in and out of psych wards. I've been in therapy for as long as I can remember and see mental health professionals at least 3 times a month.

Over the past few years I've committed to changing my life around, it's been really hard at times but I've been making progress. Example, I spent the time I was 15 to 21 homeless on and off, but now I have an apartment with my wonderful partner. In November I went no contact with my abusive mother. I changed my name from the name she gave me and started to let go of the memories associated with that name(and took the last name of my best friend and the mom who raised me the past 3.5 years) My "mom"(best friend's mom) will be coming to my apartment today, the first person in my family to be at my place. Oh and I managed to buy my first car in full about a year ago. I haven't been in a psych ward since 2017. I no longer have problems with alcohol and drugs. I (mostly) recovered from my eating disorders and I've fallen in love with myself and my body. If me from 7 years ago saw me today, I wouldn't recognize myself

I still struggle a lot and I still have a LOT of healing to do but today I celebrate the day the world gave me another chance. I celebrate healing and progress. Today I forgive myself for the hurt I caused myself in the past.

See things changed for me in 2016...my second attempt at my life. That one landed me on a ventilator for 5 days(the first left me with an arm full of scars) well when I woke up from the ventilator, my biological mother told me when I realized I was alive I looked pissed to be alive....and I was. She tried to "encourage" me to get better by showing me pictures of me hooked up so all the wires and machines. That only made me resent her more(long story) But I used that motivation of hating being alive and here I am.

Honestly I don't expect anyone to read this. But if you do, please be kind. Today is always a hard day for me, usually my bio mom and I go out to celebrate but since going no contact in November I don't have that anymore. I am doing something with my best friend's mom but sometimes you want your bio mom even if she's super toxic Also, if you know me IRL or just somewhere else online...now you know me a little more