Would appreciate your take on this: I've got all these deficiencies and don't know where to start.

Health-wise: I haven't slept a good seven hours in the past five years. I go to work half-asleep and beating myself up for not getting good sleep. I've tried baths, deep breathing, but have struggled to keep a routine for more than a week.

Career-wise: I work in government accounting, but sometimes I regret not going to public accounting just because now I'll be perceived as someone less hardworking and didn't realize how much my employability might be hurt by not going the public route (r/Accounting has some strong opinions on going straight into government). I know this is probably the least stressful job you could have, so I'm confused at what I need to be doing to fix myself.

Mindset-wise: I feel incompetent and always second-guess myself. The constant mistakes I make at work that get caught by people that have less experience in the field feel like a hit to my confidence even though I know everyone makes mistakes. I'm not sure why I keep making mistakes and suspect it's a combination of not being confident in myself/incomplete understanding of facts/and not having enough sleep. I feel defensive about my flaws even though I know better. I care but at the same time, am too emotionally exhausted to care since I am for some inexplicable reason, constantly in a state of uneasy contained panic like the sky is about to fall on me.

What I need to some system that will compel me to take action even when I'm a deer in the headlights. That will help me think even when I'm fighting to stay calm and collected.

At 26, my life is a gigantic question mark and I am terrified. I see my friends going places/earning more even though we're the same age and can't help comparison even though it's unhealthy. I feel a push to be more, do more, think more but can't tell if it's really what I want or what society tells me I should want. Where do you think my priorities should be and where should I start?

My plan is to keep pushing myself to have challenging conversations with people at work. If I ask for more than I deserve or they are comfortable giving, then that's information better late than never. They might think my questions are stupid and I might even lose my job due to perceived incompetence. I'm so scared of losing my work to the point where the fear is probably more damaging than the actual pain. I am tired of being scared and staring at this elephant in the room.

If you got this far, thanks for reading the essay and I'd appreciate any advice that helped you if you went through something similar and your observations on what I need to do right now save myself from these self-defeating thoughts.