So I have a big problem, which is that I absolutely do not care about myself, I recently got dumped by my partner of 4 years and prior to her I was a hermit in a house my parents owned with nothing to show for in life, so she brought me out to where she lives and I took care of her these past 4 years but did absolutely nothing for myself, I have nothing to show for these past 4 years that I was supposed to be improving my life from the advantage she gave me by getting me out of the middle of nowhere since I am visually disabled.

She's leaving me because I don't care about myself, my only ambition in life was to do stuff for her, I handle my overwhelming emotions inmature my and im not mindful of anything, I disassociate all of the time.

Now that she's left me and im being kicked out of her house I have absolutely no purpose in life, I don't feel anchored by my family because I don't like them, I have no friends, she was my only person in life and the only thing I ever put effort into so now im lost, I have no idea what im supposed to do, Im not religious so death is just me becoming plant food in my perspective, im also going blind very soon at a young age and I see no point.

I want to be better, I just don't know how, please help?