So for context I (36F) have a disability that for most of my life defined me as a person. Until just a few years ago, I learned these were symptoms of a disability, not personality traits.

Change takes time. Often, you are re-wiring your brain to think and behave better than you were before. I’ve been recently struggling with the idea of “clearly my thoughts define me or else I wouldn’t feel that way” not true, if it was, change wouldn’t be possible. I have an attachment style to where I will often get possessive or uncomfortable if my partner wants to do something with his friends without me. I have been so hard on myself with thinking that if I feel this way, that makes me a bad person. It does not. What’s important is sitting with those feelings and CHOOSING to not act on them. Yes, I feel that way. That does not define me. What defines me is the way I choose to respond. This can apply to so many other personal and social discomforts.

So for anyone out there struggling with something similar, you are not alone and your feelings and thoughts do not define you. What defines you is your willingness to eventually change and grow from them.