I find my thoughts to be in a never ending spin cycle. I’ve worked extremely hard my whole life to get to where I am today. I’ve work hard to get everything I thought I always wanted. Now that I have reached the peak of the mountain I thought I wanted to climb, I’m lost. I’m no longer satisfied with the business that I have built up for more than a decade, I despise waking up in the morning to do this work, I cringe when the phone rings, but yet I have to answer. Business has been slow this year, but I’m doing ok. I’m not sure if it’s slow due to inflation, but I also feel if I wanted to do this work, I would push harder and work wouldn’t be as slow. I have a hobby that I am rather good at and could turn it into a profitable business, but I find myself with no ambition to do so. I have to almost force myself to practice this hobby at this point. I don’t know if I have it in me to switch careers at this point in my life, along with my financial responsibilities, I’m not sure if I can find the drive. I probably should have prefaced this rant with the following: I suffer from chronic pains that have developed over the last four years. Most of these ailments are nerve related and cause consistent pain in my face and joints. I’m at a doctors office at least once a week. The pain is exhausting. I’m also the sole provider for my family. The couple properties I own are constantly having issues (tenant related). Long story short, there is a lot of pain, discomfort, and stress in my life. When I try to muster up the thoughts of turning my hobby into a business, it exhaust me. Sometimes I think about giving it all up and just getting a typical 9-5. This is where my mind starts to race even more. What kind of life is a life spent working 40 hours a week. Where is the life in that. Life without purpose can be debilitating on it’s own, but does that require working. Unfortunately there is no way of just “living life” the way a person would like without having money, and to have money, you need to work. This could just be a midlife crisis, but I’m not sure who to turn to or even, where to turn. I’m spinning in place like a top with no end in sight.