Background: I recently had occasion to visit my wife's parents' church. This is the church I was married in 20 years ago. Although I was an atheist even then, it was important both our parents, so I just went along with it. This was the first time I'd been inside the church since that day.

Here's my problem: I really liked it. It's full of photos and letters related to all the good works the church has done - and these are real, make-a-difference kind of things, like rebuilding communities after natural disasters, raising money to send doctors to the third world, church members giving space in their house to refugees, etc, etc. And I liked everyone I met there. These are good people.

But ... they have all this weird God-stuff going on. For example, they have a coaching program for unemployed job seekers. Most of it is good stuff, well thought out, with sections on networking, how to approach potential employers, how to write a resume ... but then there are sections on what lessons can be drawn about employment from the Book of Job or the story of Ruth, and ways to understand "how God is working in your life" while unemployed.

Bottom line: To join this community - which I'd really like to do - I would clearly have to keep my atheism in my back pocket. This is not a place for open discussion of how you feel about God's existence.

I am not concerned about this for my own sake, because in addition to lacking belief in God, I also lack the belief that it really matters very much. I understand and appreciate that for many atheists, having to "go along to get along" is unacceptable. But it isn't unacceptable to me - my atheism is just not that important to me.

What does matter to me is this: Would I be committing an ethical breach? Clearly these people do think it matters, and it would be a lie of omission to allow them to think I share their belief. Do I have an ethical duty to openly admit of my lack of faith, or to stay away from a community whose basic beliefs I do not share?