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This script is copyrighted by and is the intellectual property of Dvaledrik aka Dvaledrik_Returns. Permission is granted to record an audio version of this script and post it to the audio community here on reddit only, and only when properly crediting me, the author. If you wish to use this script beyond here, please see what I pinned in my subreddit r/DeathlyCoven, it should cover everything you need to know.

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You Caught Me

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Written by /u/Dvaledrik_Returns intended as Script Offer for r/GoneWildAudible & r/PillowTalkAudio for anyone to voice act if they wish.

Feel free to use any cutesy pet names, make any changes to suit your locality and improvise if you wish! All characters depicted are fictional and 18 and actions (including implied) taken place are between consenting adults.

SFX are encouraged but not mandatory, things in asterisks are to aid the emotions.

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[Script Offer] You Caught Me [M4F] [BFE] [Slice of Life] [Domestic Bliss] [Surprise Lunch] [New Tradition] [Little Brioche Bun] [Roast Potat] [Holiday Season] hints [Bedroom Activity] [Mutual Comfort] [Loving] [Goofy] [Pouty] [Dramatic AF] [Lit Candles] [Overcast Outside] [Gimme Some Sugar]

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Synopsis: You've been painstakingly planning a surprise holiday lunch for your boo only for her to wake up as soon as you got the chicken out of the oven, loving bickering ensues.

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Note: I made this quite vague so it can be applied to any holiday, please feel free to make changes to food, don't want roast chicken? Have roast beef, or pig, or lasagna, anything you prefer to eat! As always, please pace yourself, you're comfortable, in a loving abode with your boo and you're free to be yourself and vulnerable, you're in a good place!

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No baby.

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*speed up the "go back" part and give me a Darth Vader noooooo!*

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Go back go back go back go back go back nooooooooooo!

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*dramagic AF sigh, but relieved*

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Fine.

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You caught me.

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I was hoping for this to be a surprise for you.

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*pouty*

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But then again I worked too hard for this to go to waste.

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Now.

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Turn around, go back to our room, walk out and ACT surprised.

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*dramatic AF pouty level 200%*

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Because I haven't lit the candles yet and that's the finishing touch!

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Pleaaase just do this for me baby?

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This chicken's hot and I gotta put it dooooooown.

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Plus the hot air from the oven is turning me into a roast potat!

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Thank you baby.

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*2 seconds pause*

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Heeeey look who's awake?

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Morning?

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It's noon sleepy head!

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It is! Just look at the clock!

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*playfully mocking tone*

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So where's the big and the little hand pointing hmmm?

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*chuckle*

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C'mere and gimme some sugar.

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*peck*

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Ooooo my little brioche bun~

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Still warm and toasty from the million layers of duvet.

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I'm surprised you even rose at all.

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Fine I'll stop teasing.

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Lemme just~ pull a chair for m'lady~

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There we go~

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So, tadah!

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You like it?

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Yeah I thought the candles would be a nice touch.

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It's good that there's an overcast outside, kinda give me more reason to uh, jazz this table up a bit.

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What would you like to drink?

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Excellent choice.

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*champagne popping / beer can opening / or just straight pouring sfx*

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Hmm?

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What's the occasion?

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Well.

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You know how we both have to work that day?

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Yeah, the timing sucks balls.

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So I figured, why not have it earlier?

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There's no rule stating that we can only celebrate it on THAT day.

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Plus, it's more fun to have it when you least expect it!

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God you know how tricky it is trying to sneak prep and bake around here?

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Not to mention having to convince you to leave the house more often?

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Well, now you know.

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Yep.

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Aren't you glad we got the fridge in the garage now?

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I mean, I only plugged it in recently so I can hide the food I've been saving up.

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But the biggest win is dry brining the chicken.

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Mmmm MMMMM!

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The hardest part is having to trial them behind your back.

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I know I know I could've slipped some in our usual nommies but I wanted the new flavors to be a surprise too, not just in presentation.

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I wanted it to be a completely new sensation!

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How you liking your drink baby?

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Yeah smells nice doesn't it, we still gotta let the chicken rest for a bit.

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Otherwise if I serve it now all the delicious juices are going to go everywhere.

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*deep satisfied sigh*

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Seeing you happy makes this all worth it.

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Why did you think I took you hiking all day and kept you up with movie marathons last night?

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*chuckle*

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True I could've uh, worn you out in *various ways* but I'd be the one sleeping in instead of you.

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Hmf.

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Still, I'm glad this all came together.

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I can breaaaaaathe at last.

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I gotta admit though, going around being secretive just ain't my style, it was so stressful for me.

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I'm sorry if I seemed a bit uptight lately baby, I just really wanted this to be perfect.

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Yeah?

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You want in next time?

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Oh?

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Hmmm.

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Guess you're right, it would be a lot easier to do this with a partner in crime.

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No more sneakity sneaks!

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Sure baby.

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I'm so glad I get to share this moment with you.

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*a bit sad and increasingly get more brooding*

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With what we do, it's kinda hard to not take work home with us.

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I don't want to be praised to all heck and back constantly, but you know how they are.

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When everything's going fine, we may as well be invisible.

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I mean, that's good in a way, means that I'm doing everything right and being responsible.

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And I *like* being good at what I do, I'm proud of it.

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When things go bad, that's when they uh, start appreciating us I guess.

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It could go either way, you know how it is.

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Humans are, pedantic to say the least.

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We're creatures of our own conditioning, whether we like it or not.

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I know I try not to let it get to me, and folks project their insecurities onto whomever they can latch onto.

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It is hard not to take it personal sometimes.

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Baby?

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You OK?

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You silly bean you get subjected to this all the time too, that's why we're here for each other.

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C'mere.

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*snuggle/hug sfx*

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There.

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You know the best part of having a celebration on a non-public holiday day?

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Is that the stores are still open.

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So.

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You wanna go check out the markets after this?

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Or do you wanna go somewhere else?

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Yeah?

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OK OK so uh, what do you wanna do for dinner?

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There are some what I called failed experiments in the fridge still.

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But I was thinking, maybe we can toss them all together and make chilli?

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Or soup, if ya want.

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Oh?

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You think so?

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You're right, that's enough cooking for today.

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We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

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So what do you want to do for tonight?

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Hmmm.

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Murder mysteries or *more* murder mysteries?

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*chuckle*

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You morbid little bean!

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That's what I love about you though.

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Right.

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I think the chicken's ready.

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So, breast or leg?

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*sound fade out while talking*

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So I was thinking that on the day after we can drive to the beach? I checked the weather forecast and it should be fine on that day, but you know how it can change in the last minute. Yeah? I guess. I mean it'd be chilly as heck but there won't be anyone there so we get the beach all to ourselves.