My SO [51F] and I [48M] have been together for 14 years and married for 12. After 10 years of marriage I told her about my fetish for anal play and anal sex. I told her it was a fetish, meaning I could not be satisfied without it. Sex had gotten too vanilla and too boring for me to let it go on any longer. She has opened up to anal play in that I enjoy playing around her ass with lubed fingers and rimming her. I think she likes that part. But when it comes to actual anal intercourse, she refuses to dilate her ass in the shower, therefore anal sex is hurtful for her. What do I do? Should I leave her? There is no telling how long it will take me to find another woman who is definitely into anal. It's not like there is a place to meet women who are anal friendly. I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay or should I go?