First off, thank you all for having the courage to post your thoughts and emotions here. In 2018 my wife became ill with an unknown autoimmune disease. It now affects every aspect of our daily lives. She just cannot handle anything overly physical. This includes household projects, our kid’s sports events, long drives, cooking and of course sex. It has been over 3 years since we were last intimate. I absolutely love this woman with all my heart but it has been becoming increasingly more difficult to deal with. I miss the intimacy. I miss the woman I married. We had goals and a life planned. I feel cheated. My heart hurts for her too. She is not even 40 and lives in chronic pain. It hurts me to see her struggle, both mentally and physically. I have come to terms that our lives will never be the same but does that mean I have to sacrifice a part of who I am? How do you tell the person you love they cannot give everything you desire? I feel awful because part of me wants to have an affair. She doesn’t deserve that. Ask for the freedom to date? I know that’ll crush her. I am just so grateful that so many of you know what this feels like. I’m appreciate that I’m not alone.