Not sure if this is the right place to post this... In an ideal world I'd have sex a couple of times a week but at the moment I reckon my wife and I average about twice a month. We both have busy jobs and kids etc so I'm pretty happy with what we manage.

The sex we have is generally good, but what I really miss is the bits in between sex. So while I wouldn't say we're in a dead bedroom, it often feels dead elsewhere in the periods between sex. We've been together for around 20 years and I never expected to live in the honeymoon NRE stage forever. But I still miss the flirting and chatting about the things you do when you first start going out together.

We've been together since high school so neither of us had many experiences with other people. I loved hearing about the few things my wife did, but with a limited pool to work with that was exhausted pretty quickly and she doesn't like recovering old ground.

I've tried initiating more flirty behaviour etc, but I honestly think that it's just something that is pretty low on my wife's list of priorities and she struggles to get into that headspace with all the day to day stuff that's going on. I help with all these things but I think I just prioritise sex and the other fun sex things more than she does. Which I get. But that doesn't stop me missing it. I guess i've kind of hoped that eventually I'd find something which would unlock a more sexual side to her, but maybe it just doesn't exist and I just have to accept that.

Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and if they found a solution or a way of coping?