33 HLM

Spent 10 years in a DB marriage. Got divorced. Got into a relationship with someone who was an absolute tiger in bed. Things went well for about a year and a half. Then the sex slowed down. Then it stopped.

I've always wanted a child, and despite the complete lack of sex, my spouse has for years (and as most recently as yesterday) insisted that we will be having a kid together. When I pressed them on this (like, how if we're not fucking) they heavily implied, but did not outright say that they would suffer through the baby making process because they promised me a kid, and promises are very important to them. Next year I get an insurance plan that is like gold, multiple coworkers have told me that start to finish having a kid cost them literally ten dollars, so that's when we're going to start trying.

Per the flair I am seeking advice, unless the advice is to leave. Despite our problem I love my spouse deeply, and even if I didn't, 33 is pretty late in the game to be starting a new relationship with the intent of having children together.

They know about my marriage, and what caused it to die, so they understand that sex is important to me, and I'm allowed to seek comfort elsewhere, but even when I do it's just so empty. I like sex, a lot, but I really miss intimacy, and prostitutes are not exactly intimate.

They don't even sleep in the bed with me anymore most nights, and I just feel so alone all the time.