We are both 40, been married for 10 yrs. We keep fit. We have been toegther for 12 yrs. Sex was great before marriage, we were doing it anywhere and everywhere.

Then marriage happened.. Sex was good for first 2 yrs.. And then it hit us like a wall. We brought in toys, roleplay and even discussed going to those swinging clubs. Now after having 2 kids, ;we are at a point that we love each other, but sex is not one of things we do. We talk about doing it, but then we don't do it . We havnt had sex in 3 months. We like it, when we do it.. But it doesn't excite us anymore.

I have always had a higher sex drive than her. I tried watching porn....doesn't help. I constantly fantisize about some of the women I meet in my daily life. I have spoken to so many other men; those couples are in the same space as us. Infact I don't know 1 married guy who hasn't had sex outside marriage. They are not having affairs.. just sex. I spoke to my wife about this.. She agrees having sex with just one person all life is not practical.

Other issue( and probably more controversial) is finding a sexual partner outside marriage. I understand sex industry caters for all men/women.. Married and Single ; but there needs to be something else. Sex for me is still about connection and not just a commercial transaction. There are no legit or safe places (virtual or physical) where a married man/woman can go find themselves a sexual partner without being judged.