I miss you. I miss you terribly. I miss the freedom I felt during the process. I remember the dips in time that brought me back to reality and then the easy choice I made to sink back into your delicious energetic and lively waves.

The moments of energetic connection I would feel with my partner felt so natural and safe and allowed me to escape and shut down the “masked” (me) or day to day (me) or societal influenced (me) and indulge in other parts of my being

I think of you sometimes and I do long for you. I wish I could have you. Especially with the man that I love. The man that I want to connect with and be partners with for life.

When I think of you in that special way it makes me feel sad and confused that I can’t be with you and experience you and grow with you.

I’m trying to find you again. I’m trying to explain to my partner how wonderful you can be if you make yourself available and vulnerable in that way. I try to explain to him without triggering him. I want to experience you with him. Can you help me help him? How can I help him? I don’t want you further from my reach. I don’t want to settle into or enable a detached and avoidant relationship with you

Sometimes I have to shut you out and shut down that special energy inside that still exists and allows me to be fully present with you and enjoy you and be spontaneous with you. That reality makes me sad. I don’t want to lose the desire or the ability to experience you in the evolved way that I have.

Please help me find you again with (him). I miss you and I do need you in my life. I want him to meet you in the way I know you. I want to meet (him) while he meets you. Can I please have this? Please? What can I do to achieve this? I will do it. I am aching during this wait. My heart is hurting