Bit of background as it's my first post. Emotionally, I love my wife more than anything. We met at about 16 and she's been with me through the worst moments of my life. She's always been LL but we used to have great sex, including at one point a regular threesome situation with her (f)riend. I have a severely high sex drive and could be pushy but have been working on that a lot.

In the last couple of years, with me not being pushy, but still trying to be attentive with no expectation, the sex has dropped off. Maybe once a couple of months when she decides I deserve it after being nice.

It's become such an issue I now really try not to initiate, but I'm still really attracted to her so thats not easy. Sex has become such an issue I've contemplated going extra-marital with escorts (I'm useless socially, it really would be the only option as there's no chance I'd meet someone who wants me), and If you look at my profile I clearly spend a lot of time looking at porn now.

Now my wife has a new job where she's away at least a few days a week. This has been great for me as I don't have to face constant rejection/feeling unwanted. But on the other hand, it's pushing me towards making my fantasy of meeting up with someone a reality. It's really getting tougher the more she's away.

Obviously my situations not as bad as most I read on here, but does anyone else struggle with wanting these sorts of fantasies becoming realities. How do you cope?

Hope this was clear as it's a bit of a rant mixed with the question. There's a lot more I've left off but maybe another time.