Sex was never complicated to me. I don't find it shameful at all, just fun and pleasant. I'm adventurous and open and enjoy exploring rvery aspect of sex. But with my (LL)husband, it has made me feel like a happy puppy jumping around and doing tricks to get attention only to get kicked into a corner. Ouch.

And I've grown resentful, something that I've understood is quite common. I feel so validated reading on this sub that this is often how HL partners react to rejection. I grew resentful to the point where the thought of having sex with my husband made me feel physically sick, nauseous and dizzy.

He has said that he wants to improve. He takes online courses to improve some of his issues. I see improvement, and I have decided to give it another year to see if the improvement is enough to make the relationship worth it. Knowing, really knowing that I have a choice, has helped me become less resentful. Telling him that sex is off the table until we have worked through the other issues in our relationship has also helped.

I talk to a therapist regularly. Her method is mainly ISTDP. Talking (and feeling) through my emotions, my anger and sorrow has helped a lot.

I still don't want to have sex with him, I don't quite trust him again yet, but our relationship is peaceful and he doesn't make me feel sick or angry anymore.

Has anyone else gone through this process? What worked for you? How did you get close to your LL partner again?