I’ve been posting here more often recently and I think Covid is to blame. Having to be inside all the time with my LLM has made it hard to put aside the lack of sex thing.

But recently I’ve noticed just how invisible I feel on the day to day. My partner has been coming to me for hugs here and there but besides that we don’t really communicate in any way until dinner. And then it’s a show or a movie and then we do our own thing until bed. We have two bedrooms and we used to sleep in the same bed semi often. Now it’s about maybe once or twice every two weeks on the weekend.

We’re both studying for exams so of course there’s more private time needed now but even before exams we had the same routine.

Today I let my hair down, put on a dress I know he likes and did some light makeup and went in to his room to say hello. He barely looked up from his screen and then when he did I got one tiny peck.

Finding it hard to feel good in my skin today.