I see a lot of people talk about being unable to leave their DBs because they can't afford to do so. I wanted to post something for people to think about. I'm sure there are a lot of people in situations where they can't afford do, but maybe this gives some people freedom they weren't expecting. I don't know, maybe it won't help anybody, but I'm going to share anyway.

A friend of mine recently got divorced from his DB (and other issues). He is a computer geek and so math is something that comes very easy for him. Essentially he got to a point where he started thinking about the math involved in staying married and getting divorced, to figure out if it was financially worth it to stay married.

On one side, he had the alimony that he would need to pay. Also, the splitting of his retirement and the assets they shared as a couple. This was not a small amount of money.

On the other side is what he said surprised him. He started taking into account the credit card charges his wife was always ringing up, putting them further and further in debt. The cost of her medical care (which is pretty high). The cost of both of them individually going to counselors every week, and the cost of them constantly in couples therapy. The cost of having to pay 2 car payments because they both had one. Car insurance for two. Food for two. Etc.

In the end, he figured out that once they sold their house, and paid off all their debts, that he would actually be ahead money in just 5 years. He is only in his 30s, so the idea of being debt free and wife free and ahead monetarily while he was still decently young was a big draw for him.

He's now been divorced for about a year I think. He loves his life. Is having sex with different women as he pleases. Doesn't have to go to endless counseling appointments with his wife any more where nothing ever got resolved. He is a changed man.

I know that most people don't think of their marriage in terms of money or math. But if you are in a situation where you are thinking that you would just leave but you can't see yourself being put out all that money, maybe this little story will help you.