Hey guys, I’ve been debating posting here for a while and now I’m desperate. I’m a 28F and he’s a 26M. Basically, I’ve been in a situationship/FWB for a year now (please no advice on this. Just keep reading). In the beginning, while we never defined the relationship, it was obvious I was coming over to his place for sex. We’d text once or twice a week, sext, I come over, bang, we’re done. Over time, it’s become more and more friendly (he initiated), and I’ve gone along with it. So then it became I come over, we hang out for a few hours, talk, laugh, then have sex. Over time, the friends part has gone up while the benefits have gone down. We’ve also done other friend things together (where we do have sex) like traveling. We went to NYC together last summer. In fact, we barely even sext anymore but he still calls/texts me almost everyday all day and while we do have sex occasionally it’s not nearly as much as it used to be. First, it was him alluding to sex but not outright saying it because he didn’t want to “be an asshole to me”. I’ve told him several times we can have sex whenever, just tell me. Now, there have been a few times where I’ve initiated and he straight up gets so mad or hurt and says I only see him as dick and nothing else. I mean it. He legit gets butt hurt. One time I jokingly (not so much) told him sex was his job and he got so mad. We recently had a huge drunk fight about this and he cried. That was the first time he cried when the topic came up, but I’m just very confused on why he would be so mad/upset to be seen as only sex. He told me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, fine. I try dialing it back to what it was in the beginning, mainly sex and sometimes friendship, and he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like being seen as just sex. In fact, there have been times where I’m at his house for several hours and I literally tell him “can we do this? It’s getting late.” I’m not trying to be a jerk and I love hanging out but I also love and expect sex like how it was in the beginning. I never thought I’d miss those days but I do. I don’t understand why he gets so mad about possibly being seen as just sex. Wouldn’t a man love that? He gets to hang out, talk and have sex with no commitment. This is the first time I’ve been in a situation like this where a guy doesn’t want to be seen as just sex, and it’s confusing. It’s like, wtf do you want? I’ve told him he’s not just sex to me, but I don’t know what else to do or say.

He honestly makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me because we’re not having sex as much as we used to and I feel bad initiating because I don’t want him thinking I see him as just sex. He told me there’s nothing wrong with me but when the person you used to do all those things with now becomes more of a friend and less benefits I wonder if it’s me. I just miss being able to have sex easily with no issues how it was in the beginning (can’t believe I’m saying that. Back then I thought I wanted it how it is now) and not have him think he’s just dick and nothing else. But if he doesn’t want to be my bf what else would he be? It’s just so confusing.