If I speak up and tell her the reason I'm upset is that we haven't had sex in weeks, we fight. If I don't say anything, we still fight because she knows I'm upset (but it's just a bit shorter). Either way there is this massive fucking rift between us and it just keeps getting wider. She says she wants to feel safe and comfortable around me (how else am I supposed to interpret that other than the fact that she doesn't feel that right now?) but in the same breath she says that she doesn't want to feel like she has to "do certain things" to make me happy. What -- like maybe try and at least make me think that you are still sexually attracted to the husband you committed to love and support? I dunno, am I crazy for thinking that your partner absolutely makes a commitment to try and make you happy (aka fulfill your needs) both in sickness AND in health (although let's be totally honest here; even when things are "good" and things all seem somewhat "healthy" sex is at the very very best a once a week occurrence)? I know she knows I really would be happier if we just simply had sex more often and I didn't feel rejected EVERY. FUCKING DAY. but she just doesn't ever seem to care enough to even talk about it. It's like a giant dark cloud over our entire relationship because almost every day I feel like I just want to scratch my face off when I'm constantly rejected and she feels awful because there's so much pressure to "make me happy."

I mean Jesus titty fucking Christ - if I'd known it would be so easy to make each other so miserable only just 5 years in to what seemed like such a fantasy relationship I would have avoided this marriage thing like the goddam bubonic plague ☠️☠️☠️

I'm reaching a breaking point soon... we either need to seriously rehaul this marriage from the very foundation or i need to get out of here

Edit: yes I've been seeing multiple therapists for several years (things have been this way for at least a few years) but nothing really helps. She has refused to see a therapist because she feels like "that's when her last marriage fell apart." (she has already been married) I have insisted that this time around we both go or I won't go at all.