So I'm the LL partner in my relationship, my husband and I have had an open relationship for 11 years now, and couldn't be happier. I did an AMA a few months ago but wanted to come back with a few tips I've picked up along the way for any LL that may be here and struggling.

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1. It isn't always sex. Some HL want affection, love, to feel wanted and sexy. No one should force themselves to have sex, but you as a husband/wife/other have the job of making your partner feel like they're an important part of the relationship. Set aside time each night for cuddling, kiss them every day, tell them you love them, be physically affectionate, remind them that they're sexy. It often isn't their fault you're LL, so don't make them feel like they are.

2. You don't have to have sex to be sexual. If you can't get hard, or wet, you can use toys. You can give oral, body massages, or go the no-touch route and give them a lap dance/ verbal encouragement while they masturbate. Like I said, you can't force yourself to be in the mood, but there are things you can do that respect your space, and also help your partner feel sexy and satisfied. Your HL partner wants YOU, so show them YOU. Wear sexy clothes and dance for them, show them your genitals, use your hands to touch them, give them oral, do something to help them feel sexually satisfied without resorting to actual sex.

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1. Communicate. As I said before, it's often not their fault you're LL. Tell them why you are, they will understand more than you think. Your medication may be causing issues, you have trauma associated with sex, you have low testosterone levels, you have vaginal pain, you feel too pressured. There is help for all these things. Proper counseling, medication changes, doctor visits, there are ways to help you that you may not know about.

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1. Don't be ashamed to go to counseling. If the problem is mental or with your relationship and your HL partner is willing to work on it, go. There's no shame in asking a sex therapist, or a regular therapist for help in your bedroom. Put forth an effort, even if it doesn't work right away, or at all, your HL partner will appreciate the effort you put in.

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1. That being said, don't put the blame on them. Having a high libido is normal, and there's nothing wrong with it. Don't blame them for wanting sex, just like they shouldn't blame you for NOT wanting sex. Don't use manipulation tactics, guilt trips, or self harm to make them stop asking you for sex. Don't put them down for being sexual, this is who they are, it's not their fault and there's nothing wrong with wanting sex.

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1. Open the relationship. If you and your partner are okay with it, open the relationship. This is what I did. My medication causes many issues with my sex drive, and I can not change medications. So I opened my relationship. My husband goes out and has sex with others. In turn, I practice suggestion 1 daily, and give him love at home. Remember, sex can just be sex. They may have a very satisfying relationship with you but still want sex, so there's no shame in letting them go get it. It doesn't mean they love you less, it doesn't mean you're a failure, it just means you can't be pressured anymore, and they can't get what they need. Set rules and boundaries, communicate very often, and make sure you both want this. Set aside time for love with each other, don't falter on affection just because you think they're getting it somewhere else, YOU are still their loved one, you need to act like it to keep the relationship happy.

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And finally

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1. Let them go. If nothing works. If you're incompatible, not willing to counsel or open or medicate or fix, let them go. If your partner wants to end the relationship for sexual reasons, they have the right to do that. Keep your dignity, realize they're tired of not being fulfilled, and also tired of hurting and pressuring you. This is best for BOTH of you, you need a partner who is willing to do the above, or willing to let go if the above is not enough. Don't be ashamed, it isn't anyone's failure, and you can have a clean break. Act with respect toward them, and respect yourself.

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I hope this has helped some people in finding some ways to help your dead bedrooms and relationships. If you have any tips that I may have missed feel free to add them in!