I posted here about a year ago. Here's the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/77by0i/what_makes_a_bedroom_dead/

About a couple of months after that post, the frequency declined again to about where it was before. She made the "duty" date/time Sunday nights. But when Sunday rolled around, she'd always find an excuse - mostly from finding something to be angry at me for (i.e., that I bought two bags of shrimp instead of one). So I worked hard to stay on her good side. But even when I didn't make any slip ups, she'd come up with an excuse. After a while, when no excuse could be made, she just simply said she's going to sleep. This went on for the past several months.

Then, all of a sudden, she dropped a bomb last week. She just said it's not a matter of not wanting to do it (she doesn't) or not finding me attractive (she does). She just said simply that her heart is closed to me and it's getting more and more closed. In fact, every time she "did her duty" that made her more and more closed. So I told her we should stop that then (also because it made me feel more bad than good afterward, too).

But now, we are completely what she's been wanting to be the past couple of years: she just wants me to be her roommate and friend. That's what she considers to be a perfect relationship. She says this even though I've told her repeatedly that I want a wife. But I think she's just hoping that I 'll lose all physical desire as I grow old. She still just doesn't understand that it's not just about sex. I miss kissing, hugging, hand-holding, caressing, and even a simple touch. Loving, physical contact of any sort!

So, my friends, my "deadbedroom" has clearly extended its territory far beyond the bedroom. And I think I'm coming to the end of the line. There's more to this story, but I think that's all my heart can put out right now.