Hey DeadBedrooms! I'm here to tell you about something I experienced recently (and am in the middle of experiencing)- the effect of hormonal birth control on the female libido.

I've always had a strong natural sex drive... up until the last few months. For the first 5 years of my relationship I had a hormonal IUD (progestin only) and while I found that my sex drive never quite soared to the heights that it was previously, it was healthy and I never had any issues becoming aroused by/with my partner of 6 years. But all good things come to an end, and given how tough the adjustment period was for my IUD (about a year of monthly cramping from hell) I opted for something different when it came time to take it out. First, a couple of months of the Depo injection- it didn't have too much effect on my libido, but I gained weight and the inconvenience of it (having to see my GP every few months on time when she works on a part-time basis) was scary. She recommended the Nuva Ring and for the past 5 months it's been my only form of birth control. This is where the real trouble began.

I didn't notice at first, as is the case with many women, how it began to effect my sex drive, sexual sensation, and overall sexual function. It's easy to see how some women might be confounded by the sudden lack of sexual desire because consciously, it's hard to relate these changes to the medication. I had no clue what was happening to me at first, but the last few days I've become convinced that the culprit is my birth control.

How it affected me psychologically: I spent 5.5 years with the same partner being very amorous towards him, always wanting sex, enjoying his touch. Our relationship overall has been in a good place lately. And yet I was finding myself completely turned off by him. His touch began to annoy me, even at times where it was nothing but appropriate, and I could find no reason that this should be the case. I wasn't irritated with him, nothing about what he was doing had changed... so why wasn't I enjoying sex? It got to the point that the only sex acts I enjoyed were me pleasing him... and even then, whereas these acts would typically be arousing to me, they just weren't doing that any more. In addition, I've noticed I have not once become spontaneously horny/desiring of sex in the time I've been on this birth control, despite that being a very regular occurrence for me in the past.

How it affected me physiologically: So many ways. I all but lost sensation in my nipples, where breast play has always been a turn-on for me. Oral sex on me has become a pretty grueling experience for both of us. If he goes soft, I start feeling annoyed, but if he goes harder, it begins to hurt. My ability to orgasm is greatly diminished- even worse, just as soon as it began to feel good for me, it also began to hurt. Sometimes I could power through and using a vibrator, could kind of 'force' one, but it would leave me feeling raw and in pain afterwards. Also, these are mostly side-effects of the Nuva Ring in particular, but it almost completely removed my ability to self-lubricated whereas in the past that had NEVER been an issue. Even kissing would get me wet. I have been drier than a desert down there lately. My perineum/vaginal opening/clitoris have also been intermittently sore/raw feeling as well. As a cherry on top of a shit-sundae, I've also had more yeast infections than I care to remember the past 5 months, whereas in the past I could go years without a single imbalance. All of these factors have made it nearly impossible to have enjoyable sex even when I can work up the 'mental' interest in having it.

In the end, though, I'm kind of grateful for the latter symptoms because it's what tipped me off that my BC was diminishing my sexual function. Had I been on the pill (which doesn't seem to have the same issues with yeast infections, sore vulva, etc) I might have gone months or years wondering 'why am I not horny? Why do I not get turned on during sex?' Almost everyone 'knows' that birth control can diminish sex drive but it is truly insidious, the way it can affect women. For me, going on this birth control, I knew I loved sex and felt like nothing could change that mental desire to connect- at least, not enough to completely diminish my capacity to want it. It took me months to really clue into what the problem was, and even then, only because of how much I was suffering and how abnormal it was for me!

I'm not decrying all birth control here. As I mentioned, I had a hormonal IUD for 5 years and 4 of those years were completely uncomplicated, and during all 5 I retained my sex drive and sexual function at a very healthy level. Some women can't stand the IUD and lose their sex drive. Some women do amazing on the pill, on the nuva ring, the patch, the shot... and some don't, and the way it can affect us psychologically and physically may not at all be apparent and this side-effect can surface after years on the same medication. My partner and I aren't willing to play roulette any more and he's agreed to become sterilized at last. As soon as we agreed he will book an appointment for next week I took the culprit right out of me that threw it in the trash. Good riddance!

TL;DR: Don't dismiss hormonal birth control as a possible cause of lack of libido/enjoyment of sex. It can wreak havoc even on women with a strong, natural sex drive to the point where sex becomes an unappealing prospect that is very difficult to 'power through'. Consider switching birth control, especially type (estrogen and progestin based BC affect the body differently, some people are more suited to one or the other) if you suspect a problem, using barrier methods, or if you are done having kids/childfree, sterilization (guys, here's where you can do your part to enhance your intimate life! Offer a vasectomy if no (more) children are wanted!). Birth control turned my ordinarily perfectly happy reproductive organs into a big, sore, angry mess, and my desire for sex turned all the way off. It can happen to you!