We lived together for my senior year with no issues, then I moved for work while she finished her masters. We did long distance for a year and half, and it was really hard. She doesn't drive, so I drove up every other weekend and drove back Sunday night. I probably put 10s of thousands of miles on my car, and sometimes when we were together during this time she would seem a little distant. But we would talk about it and she chalked it up to academic pressures, combined with the pressure of only having several days together every month. Fair enough.

About a year ago she graduated and we moved into an apartment together. We both have good jobs, though I make more so I pay for more. I pay for groceries, weed, most of our household goods and furniture. I also do the dishes every night, pay for dinner if we go out, cook dinner most nights if we don't, and I clean the whole apartment once a month. I take out the garbage every other day, and pay for everything associated with our only car (again, she doesn't drive. But I still drive her places all the time).

I fell into doing all of this because, honestly, I did love her, and she hasn't had the easiest upbringing. I wanted to take care of all the things she usually had to worry about.

But ever since we moved back in together, something is different. She'll zone out while I'm talking to her, ask me questions only not to hear my answer because she's scrolling on her phone, and sleeps a ton. Most nights, she gets home from work, eats the dinner I made, and is asleep on the couch by 9pm.

I've always thought I've kept things exciting, and I've even stepped it up over the last few months. Thousand dollar tasting menu dinners, fancy dresses and lingeries, any makeup or skincare items she could ask for, weekly $100 trips to target, elaborately planned dates to her favorite places, random flowers throughout the week. She receives all of this warmly, but then when its us alone in the apartment it's more like we're roommates lately.

Our sex life has been non-existent since we moved back in together too. Literally anything can ruin the mood for her: Movie we were watching was too violent, she interacted with her family that day and can't get in the right mindset now, the dinner I cooked for us still smells a little in the apartment, she read a tweet she disagrees with and is arguing with strangers online. I've sat her down and talked about this specifically a couple times, and she's always agreed that something is different and she's trying to work on it. I cater our sex life to her as much as possible as it is much easier for me to get in the mood. That, however, has just created a weird ritualistic feel to the whole thing, no spontaneity or romance at all.

More than that, her sleep schedule is super whack. Like I said, she usually falls asleep right after dinner on week nights. But then she'll wake up at some ungodly hour to shower and do her bedtime routine, going back to sleep again for a few hours before getting up for work. The result is, on weekends, she sleeps until 11, will be a weird zoned out mess until 1 or 2, and then she'll sleep again until sundown. It can get super lonely.

I never give her an attitude about this, and she is thankful for my understanding, but I get the feeling she doesn't take me seriously when I try to explain how this all makes me feel. I guess I'm just waiting until either she figures out whatever it is she needs to deal with, or it becomes just too much to bear and I snap. If it's like this now, how can it be any better when we get busier in our careers? Have kids like we planned?

If you read all this, thank you I suppose. Feel free to share your story and we can commiserate together.