I (40F) suddenly lost my LL (50M) spouse 12 days ago. I was a regular reading this subreddit, and wondering if there was ever a solution. There wasn't.

My husband struggled with work anxiety and in hindsight I believe this was the root of his LL. He was very senior at his job in finance and worked around the clock. He was emotionally dysregulated and over time could not tolerate slowing down in any regard. He would not lay in bed with me, did not want to kiss, and had insanely poor sleep hygiene. I first noticed our DB problems about 2 years into the relationship, we were together for 8. For those wondering if it gets better, I am not sure that it can without focused professional help. My husband was uncomfortable discussing these issues and would be defensive about the reasonings, only trying to reassure me it wasn't my fault.

In the end, my worry about his mental state and how if manifested physiologically was real. He texted me while working from home that he had chest pain and was found dead.

If you can relate at all - the problem is beyond you. Your spouse needs help.

I'm not sure if I have a place on this sub anymore. I wish us all happiness. We deserve the best.