Married for 15 years. I (M42) met my wife (now F44) on our mid 20s. I had been her only partner, and my exp had been modest. For a long while, our sex life was solid. Not porn star levels but consistent, imaginative, fun. However, the last few years frequency has been on an exponential decline. Circa 2017 it was every few weeks. 2019 every few months. 2021 twice a year. Now it's been over a year since the last time we slept together. Otherwise our relationship is good. Our communication has gotten stronger over the last few years but her desire for sex has just waned. Her self-care in that regard has likewise vanished. She just no longer thinks about it. We have been to a sex party, but interest in others wasn't there. I've offered to go back with her if that was something she needed, but that got a no. Ive asked if another partner (thinking she may be sick of me) was a thing. Nope. Do I need to lose weight, get ripped... Nope. We are both in independent councilling and are looking to couples... But the thing is she has given permission for me to satisfy myself elsewhere, but it's not really my jam. I'm looking at the sub reddits for that and while flirting and being grotty is fun (no IRL meets) it's my wife I want. It's just brutal being constantly rejected. Things change. Life changes. Needs change. . . . I'm not sure what advice I'm after. I already have permission to sleep around. I believe her when she tells me she isn't (that thought has passed my mind already). We are talking about it. . . . But not being desired is fucking horrendous, and feels like here is the place to share.