This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
We have been together for 14 years now. I still love her and my 4 year old daughter and wouldn’t want my life to be any different. I am fit, quite good looking and have had multiple instances of very good looking girls in different parties and forums asking me out (Indian and Tamil so both of us don’t really wear rings), always in the ‘Top 3’ lists of many of friends and coworkers, and this further drives my FOMO of what could have been if I had only met my wife 2-3 years later. Most of my friends are quite shocked to hear I have been with only one girl all my life. Our sex life is regular (weekly) but we more or less do missionary only, and my wife doesn’t like giving blowjobs and also doesn’t want me giving her oral either as she thinks it is icky. I want to do both, and I masturbate regularly to get the energy out. But I fear I might develop an addiction, or this pent up desire might come out somewhere.
We really love each other, and felt we will get better at sex once we spend enough time together when we were dating. Unfortunately that never happened.
TLDR :- married to high school crush with not a great sex life. Regrets what sex would have been with other girls. Need advice to spice it up
Can you ever talk to your wife about sex and trying new things? Lingerie, toys, roleplay. Maybe oral while bathing together or right afterwards, so the ick part isn't so prominent? Does she even enjoy sex? Don't get offended by the next question: If you are her first too, does she even orgasm or know what an orgasm should feel like? Asking this because we have a similar situation (married my school crush/boyfriend) and my orgasms changed and I got to experience a real great one way into my 40s for the first time. Didn't know it before. Would she be keen to watch home made porn with you? Not saying professional porn to avoid the PIV and 1/2 just being BJ's for the male. Seeing real women enjoying being touched and how they climax. Seeing different kinds of foreplay etc. ?
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 2 days ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/DeadBedroom...
She probably doesn't know how to masturbate. So all the toys are useless if she feels touching herself is "ick" too. She won't do it. Are you both Indian/Tamil? Is it a cultural thing? If so it might be really really hard to overcome the imperatives of her "elders" teaching her that everything south is an unclean area and should not be touched or given any attention. It's hard when one spouse wants to explore and the other one doesn't. Stay hopeful and never give up. Just try to incorporate it more and more . Maybe trying to make her feel comfortable getting pleasured wearing a blindfold? Start with body massages. Then work your way slowly forward to other regions. Her wearing a blindfold so she doesn't have to feel "ashamed" of you seeing how much she secretly enjoys it. There is a guy giving great sensual massages. He posts on Reddit. You can get your inspirations from him. I have to look up his name if you are interested.