My husband has lived with me for 7 years. When he moved in, I noticed pretty quickly that he watches a lot of porn on the computer or on his mobile, regardless of whether I am there or not. A few times I walked into him masturbating. He always reacted harshly and we argued. We definitely have different sex than he watches and I wanted to know what I could do differently or why that was so important to him. Unfortunately, we never talked about it. For a few years now, I've been seeing links etc. that he pays for. I don't dare talk to him because then he explodes and we argue again. It's OK if he watches porn, but he completely neglects me. I notice that I don't turn him on and he rarely feels physically attracted to me. Mostly when he's aroused by porn and he just wants sex. But because of my age, I need a longer foreplay and apart from that I find it nicer and more satisfying. We do have great sex maybe once a month. He always tells me that he's too tired and I always want more. I don't want to complain about the number of times we have sex. I don't want him (trying to) fuck other girls. 4 years ago I found out that he was trying to attend a public sex meeting. The woman has a few paid options, all of which my husband uses. For a while I thought it was over. He used something else. My new year started with me reading something again about he can't wait for her invitation to shoot his load inside her. It makes me feel sick. I'd like to talk to him about it to find a good solution for both of us. I'm afraid to address it to him because of his reaction. He is always overly dismissive and doesn't speak to me for days. I'm mentally not strong enough to go through his attitudes anymore. My communication skills are limited, because we talk/argue in English and I'm german. That leads to misunderstandings. I love him and I'm willing to do everything for us.