I'm 30F and he's 36M.

I feel terrible, like absolute shit because I found the answer to our deadbedroom but that was because I violated his privacy and trust by looking at his phone. I'm gutted.

We have been together for about 2 years, sex was great at first, several times per week. It rapidly declined after the first two months. It's now been 5 months and no sex. He still gives me quick kisses and hugs me, occasionally cuddles me in bed. We go on dates, vacations, do all the amazing and fun things together like normal couples! Everything except sex. Like I'm a slightly more intimate best friend?

We are compatible in every possible way; goals, beliefs, hobbies, desires in life.... Except intimacy. He's communicative in other aspects, he goes to therapy, he validates my feelings and concerns. He does have severe anxiety and a gut issue, which he's expressed to me why he believes he isn't interested in sex. Plus his job is extremely stressful.

We had a discussion about our lack of intimacy/sex around the end of November and he said he would bring up a testosterone level test during his upcoming appointment the beginning of December. Well, he went and said his doctor wants to focus on his stomach issues first to see if it's contributing to his severe anxiety and lack of interest in sex. So I understood and wanted to be supportive. He said he understands I'm a human with normal wants and desires and he would try harder. Well, I haven't seen that yet, though it's only been a few weeks.

My gut told me it had to be something more, as how do we go from how we were at the beginning to this? Maybe he's not attracted to me? Cheating? I don't know, so I finally caved and checked his phone. I feel fucking horrible but now I know he is frequently watching porn! OF, reddit, and I'm sure other online sites.

I don't know how to address that I know he's watching 🌽 and hiding it so well... How do you have low testosterone but frequently watching that? I feel like he loves everything about me but just might not be attracted to me, though he tells me otherwise. I don't know how to address this problem without upsetting him I checked his phone... 😭