Hey! I am new here. I’ve recently found that a lack of action in the bedroom is starting to really weigh on me and my marriage.

We have been married 8 years and together for 13. We get along really well but there is just zero intimacy anymore. We have sex maybe once a month and usually is just missionary or maybe her riding. No oral, no foreplay, no nothing except for the 5 boring minutes of missionary. I’ve brought this up with her and have made suggestions such as trying new things, positions, etc. My wife’s love language are words of affirmation and acts of service. I’ve also tried to hit on both of those without pressing for anything sexual. Basically I feel like I’ve tried everything. I keep myself fit and in shape. I’m educated, career driven (own a business) and I’m good with conversation. I only include these tidbits because I’m not a slob or anything either.

It’s getting to a point where I don’t feel like she is sexually into me anymore. This in turn makes me contemplate swinging or having an affair. However going that route seems to create guilt for me.

I’m getting to the point where this is starting to develop into depression and just not sure what to do anymore.