I posted yesterday for the first time. It’s the same story as most I suppose. TLDR I’m 52, wife is 48, married 27 years. Almost dead bedroom. You can read my previous post for a full rundown. I know she loves me. I get occasional “I love you” texts so the affection isn’t 100% gone but I’m sending those texts, random hugs or kisses, holding hand, etc. 90% of the time. And when we do have sex I’m more than generous and she enjoys herself. She’s on a weight loss journey (I hate when people are on a “journey”) and I’m hopeful some confidence is returning to her. What I mean by the title is I’m not going to accept once (ish) a month intimacy. When she comes downstairs this morning I’m kissing her full on the mouth, no peck on the lips. If I want her, I’m telling her. If I want a hug I’m going in for one. If any urge to be affectionate, loving, sexual, whatever hits me she’s going to know. I feel at this point my swallowing my feelings for fear of rejection or to keep the peace is a kind of complacency. My kids are in their 20’s so if this drives us apart rather than bringing us together, then so be it. The kids are grown so I’m not worried about custody or anything should my new attitude really cause problems. I’m just not going to accept things as they are. I’m not going to swallow my urges, silently starve for affection, or just take it. She will either like my being more vocal and affectionate in communicating my needs/wants or she will have to tell me no and refuse me a lot. My needs and wants in this marriage are just as important as hers. Why am I the one silently suffering? Why do I have to accept living like this? I don’t. And, I’m not going to. I’m so very hopeful that there’s enough spark left that my affection is reciprocated, at least a little. I hope this breaths new life into us. If it doesn’t then, I don’t know. What I do know is, I’m not going to quietly accept the way things are now. This could go horribly or it could go great. All I know is, I can’t keep doing whatever ’this’ is.