I’ve lurked here for a while and finally got up the courage to post (made a new account so please bear with the new account age). Sorry if this is a little long but some background. I’m married (I’m open to married or single) and I grew up in a very conservative, strict family. The idea of no sex until marriage was pushed very strong on me and because of this I really didn’t experiment sexually in high school or college and didn’t have sex until I was married.

I’m married but my wife has a very low sex drive (the last time we had sex was several months ago) and even though I give her oral sex when we have sex (and I’d like to think that I’m quite good at it and bringing her to orgasm) the longest blow job I’ve ever received from her was about 5 seconds and she’s never made me finish from a blow job. She says she just isn’t into it and the idea of giving a blow job grosses her out, and she is grossed out by the idea of me cumming in her mouth.

I’ve talked with her about this but she just blew me off. I’m looking for advice, but honestly at this point I’m thinking about going behind her back to find someone that I can do this with because I have a high sex drive and I’m wishing I would have experimented more when I was younger and I’m wanting to experience this.

EDIT: I’m not trying to coerce my wife into doing something she doesn’t want to do. I’m not about forcing her or pressuring her to do something that is against her will. But I am looking for advice on things others have been successful with in communicating with a partner who had a low libido and/or who was not into giving oral sex. Sure, I’ve considered cheating, and I don’t think there has been anyone on here who hasn’t, but I haven’t gone out and cheated on her. I don’t even know if I will, but I’m very sexually frustrated and touch starved.

EDIT2: She’s also been hitting the gym a lot in this last year and looks really good, which makes it even harder with her low sex drive.