I (41HLM) posted a couple weeks ago about me and my wife's (42HLF) DB of 8 years and lack of any touching in 3 years (no hugs, no kisses, even tells me its gross when my hand touches hers while handing her something).

She's got a chronic illness and hasn't worked in 10 years - I've been mainly supporting us since before that (she even kept the money she made when she did work, while I still paid all the bills). She's emotionally abusive, and easily can manipulate me into things I didn't do are my fault, or that I said things I hadn't - this pairs well with the fact I'm bipolar, and that one she says I'm responsible for controlling my actions during episodes (which is kind of like exactly what the problem is when you're in an episode - you can't).

It's clear here that the DB is not going to heal, and there's far more wrong than just a DB here - I very well know it, but I'm still generally stuck. Her personality towers over mine and she can just scoop my insides out with ease - it's extremely intimidating to consider giving her push back and when I do, she usually verbally destroys me. So, yeah, obviously I know I need leave the situation, but it's not that easy to just drop it.

But today - I finally had enough after a relentless weekend of garbage behavior. I wasn't speaking to her at all today and finally she tried to figure out why, and I had a waterfall of complaints come out of me - talking over her when she'd interrupt, the whole thing grown ups do... and then it finally happened: I told her I needed to leave, not for an hour at that monet, but move to my own place, and separate now.

You see, we have an agreement that she does not deserve where I will continue to suppot her until she can figure out how to get her feet on the ground, this means I'd have to pay for 2 places if I were to do this - and when I said I'd do it anyway, she started bawling about how I had fucked her life if I leave because we had plans we agreed on to go FIVE YEARS until our divorce (basically so I could buy her a car and pay off debts) - but the pleasding got me.

She clawed me back.

It's okay though, this was the first time Igot anywhere close to this; this was the biggest step I've had towards it. That's why I'm posting this - I got closer, and I'll keep getting closer and closer.