My (41 HLM) wife (41 LLF) and I have been together 19 years, married for 15, and dead bedroom for 8 years.

In the begining, being young as we were, we had excellent pornstar sex - it lasted about 2 years of the relationship and then things started gradually dying down more and more over the new few years. She'd only want sex if she was drunk so, naturally, we found ourselves at bars fairly often until that stopped working.

About 5 years into the relationship, she got herself a new job and soon ended up hanging out with work friends all the time while I mostly sat at home. I'd pick her up in the morning from their house... it was 3 men who lived at that house. I once checked her phone and saw one of them texted her "come over, lets have sex" which to this day she claims it was just a joke because her reply was "no." All I can do is believe her... so I do. This was 14 years ago so I don't really need to relitigate it, but its good background info.

We split for a year a little later - it was a weird bit of a reprieve. I had sex with several women during this period of time and got into a pretty serious relationship... which ended because "you're way more into sex than I am." After that, I got back together with my wife - but we talked about it and my condition was that we work on our intimacy this time around and she agreed.

Back together, things were great in the bedroom for a few months... and then it all but stopped again. I probably would've tried to go a second time, done something, had I known that was the last time we'd have sex.

But a few things - I'm bipolar 1 and am affected by hypersexuality because of it. I didn't know that was a thing or why I just was never satiated but that feels like it probably contributed to the sex dying out. At one point a few years into the relationship she had told me she thought I was a sex addict, and now that makes sense too. However, the hypersexuality has lead to the past 8 years being increasingly torturous.

I've also spoiled her rotten. I've always treated her "like a princess" and even through all of this I still do. She doesn't have to do anything and she gets whatever she wants. I'm pretty sure I've made her into a, to put it plainly, brat.

She developed autoimmune issues several years ago, but now its also to the point that even if she DID want to have sex (haha), I don't know if she's physically up for it. She's also not had to work in over 10 years, I've continued to support us.

And right now, we ARE currently on the (fictional) divorce waiting list - she wants me to pay off all debts before we divorce and estimates we'll get divorced in 5 years. On the surface, it's about my mood swings from my illness since it took several years for me to find a treatment that works while symptoms worsen with each year.

I'll stop here. There's so much I didn't get into, but it would be a multiple volume novel.