And I hated it. Almost 2 years no physical touch. No kisses, no cuddling, no real hugs all that time. Went separate rooms for a few weeks.

Then this morning she cuddled me in bed. Me on my back, her head on my arm. I was surprised and uncomfortable. I was paralized and did not moved at all. I was just thinking : why? Why now? I was hoping she do not initiate more and was happy she did not. I was so confused that I would have refused if she would have push things further. I was so affraid as I am not even sure if I remember how to make love to her. I was so relieved when she got up and left. I was crying alone understanding I have checked out of this 27 years relationship. I was sad to know that cuddling with her is now as painful as not cuddling with her. I was in love with her, I am not anymore.