My (30HLF) husband (33LLM) has always had a LL since we started dating. I vividly remember asking him about it and if it was ME or what was going on early in the relationship because I was not used to a significant other not wanting to have sex every day.. he said just LL and mental health issues, etc.

Okay, I figured it was fine. Longer things went on the less sex we had.

We "tried" for a baby but of course with him hardly ever wanting to do the deed it didn't happen (like once a week if I was lucky).

We separated for a bit when his depression got really bad and ended up rekindling things and things were amazing at first. We do get along better and one day the sex just stopped, he stopped touching me, kissing me, etc.

It's been two months. Over two months actually now. I have tried initiating, tried romantic evenings, dressing up, sending flirty texts, etc. Nothing works and he says I'm trying too hard. I have given up.

Last night we had a serious talk and he said the lack of sex is bothering him. (really?) and I agreed. He said "do you not see what an issue it is?" and I looked at him bewildered because obviously....

He proceeds to tell me, he thinks about sex daily but nothing I do attracts him and I do nothing to try and attract him. (I've tried and he never took the bait or told me to stop so I stopped trying recently)

I am not the prettiest person in the world but I am working on myself. I go to workout classes every morning, I eat clean (mostly), wear makeup, I clean myself.

His issues are monetary things I can not afford myself at this moment with the holidays coming up (our finances are split right now and he makes more than double my salary). He handles the mortgage, his car/insurance, utilities, and any home improvements. I handle vet care, dog food, phone bill, groceries/other necessities, and my car/insurance.

This is what he would like me to prioritize:

- Hair

- Brows

- Nails

- Nicer Clothes/Shoes

- Better Makeup

- Straightening my teeth (they're fairly straight but still kinda funky looking - my biggest insecurity most days... his teeth are worse than mine lol)

Etc.

I've told him it's a money issue not a desire to not do these things. He doesn't offer to help which is fine, but he tells me to learn to DIY it. Which is fair, aside from the hair cuts and teeth lol.

So now what? He has said previously that me taking care of the home is the most attractive thing to him and I do. Now I guess he realized it's not that. He also said he thinks I'm infertile and I explained to him it's hard to get pregnant if we're not having regular sex especially if it's outside my fertile window. He did not believe me.

I mean I truly I have never experienced this before. I have a HL but in all my relationships I guess they did too because I would have to turn it down sometimes (which I never do with my now husband). I actually take care of myself better NOW than ever before since I've gotten my ADHD treated (working out, staying clean, being presentable, etc). He also said he doesn't think I actually shower and when I go in the shower that I just run the water to pretend and get out because he said I always look dirty. So I have no clue how to fix that.

I take a full shower after the gym, body lotion, deodorant.

Before bed I take a body shower and just clean my body from the day to help me sleep (don't wash my hair), body lotion, deodorant

Anyone else been in a similar situation that has any advice? He is in therapy for his own mental health right now AND he works about 80 hours a week (voluntarily) so I know he's exhausted and under a lot of stress. He actually got annoyed with me this morning because I barely slept last night so decided to forego the gym this morning to get a little more sleep before work.

TLDR; husband no longer attracted to me because he doesn't think I take care of myself well enough. not sure what else to do that doesn't cost money as money is tight for me right now, does anyone have any advice?