My wife(40) and I (44) had a conversation this weekend about why are sexlive is dwindling in the last couple of years. We wen't from 1-2 times a week in our thirties to sex maybe once a month or 2 months now.

I assumed her libido was lower because of the usual suspects. We both have busy workschedules, two little kids and maybe even perimenopause.

But boy was I wrong! She told me her libido is fine as it is and she has regular solosex, but I ruined our sexlive by behaving in a negative way when rejected or when there were periods of no sex . She knows giving in will make me calm down and the loving husband she adores but it gives her a lot of pressure and also makes sex a chore instead of a romantic, passionate event she told me. Basicly telling me I am a manchild when it comes to sex and that's totally not attractive....

Although I never really get angry at her there is some truth in what she said. We fight a lot more when sex is scarce and I sometimes complained about our sexlife and also sometimes reacted like an angry child when rejected. Not getting really mad at her or pissed in general but just a bad attitude, being grumpy that often had a follow next morning/day with silenttreatment or being distanced in general making her want to have sex even less.

Don't know what to do next. What I felt when rejected for weeks and even months doesn't matter to her obviously. Keep smiling like an idiot.